Do you think its because he thinks you are stupid, ugly, Stupid, or could it be because hes trying to pick up on you? Then you are by definition not being defensive and that is what you want with comebacks: not having to defend yourself. Take off that social mask. I find people will preach about virtually anything your diet, how to live your life, how to improve your golf. I know your black heart is beating, but at the same time I also know that there is a diamond in it. I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. When it comes to the individual and their needs, the public cares. Awwwits cute when you try to talk about things you dont understand. My life may be a joke, but its not as funny as your face. If I asked to go to someone's house, she would ask who was going to be there. Dont answer that question, I dont want to know., Come on, thats nice so you get a plus., I think I was dividing the points here. So you radiate it and above all: radiate that you are not extremely impressed by anything. funny, without worrying about tricking people or not being liked. How should it be done? I am completely happy: I have everything I need. So dont hold on to your little image: Im cool! I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. This one is a little stealthy. Im sorry, was that meant to offend me? But many people dont offer it at all, just let it revolve around themselves: yuck! Im sorry, youve mistaken me for someone who gives a damn. Me:AH yes its the aroma of originality! His arresting officer claims You are without a doubt the worst pirate Ive ever heard of. Ah, replies Sparrow, But you have heard of me. There is no comeback like one that tosses your opponents words back at them! How To Deal With Sensory Overload [9 Tips For Overstimulation], How To Stop Being So Hard On Yourself [9 Great Tips], How To Stop Wasting Time In Life: Take This Crucial Advice, How to start a conversation with anyone: 15 tips [Making contact], 372 Friend Tag Q&A Questions [Best Friend Quiz], Best conversation topics: always have topics to talk about, Clingy & controlling behavior of partner/date [Extreme examples], Friendzoned? Thanks for the compliment! You are like the sunnot because you light up my world, but because it hurts to look at you. What if {solution of the situation}. Do you want good comebacks? Self-confidence means that you can do whatever you want without worrying others saying anything about it. like all bullies (insert name here)s brain is underdeveloped, therefore he has a innate lack of self control causing him to lash-out, Song not exactly a comeback, but wanted to share. I am being judged so I have to prove myself to be positive!, Im here to share, Im the group! The lot. Do you always find yourself trapped in a silly argument with friends and enemies? No, you dont have to do anything, except brush your teeth., Tip 10. Oops, my bad. I dont know how socially handy you are, because of course we only just met, but come on, take a chance., Because I know what to do and if you listen to me, happiness will come your way. Any response you give should be for the purpose of amusing yourself, not pleasing the other. Right: if you screw up, you can easily get another one. I wrote down all the languages I speak, but last time I checked stupid wasnt on my list. We had a no swearing rule, and then an insult rule, which means they were G-rated insults. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. Care about them. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Why not take today off? How do I provide value to this group / person? You are entitled to your incorrect opinion. Pew! Thats the sound of me deflecting your whiny b*tching with my happiness shield. Bich s there going to back of lol, Your email address will not be published. Party! Remember when I asked for your opinion? komi psychoI don't remember asking 2535234 Records DKReleased on: 2023-02-20Auto-generate. I just know what you should be doing. I'm sorry, I didn't order a plate of your opinion. I hope your day becomes filled with people like you. Then you can turn that pretty harsh response into something sweet: Did it occur to you that Im talking to you because I think you look nice? At the same time, theres a time and a place for a comeback that will put the bully on the back foot, embarrass them, and make them think twice in future about trying to roast you in the future. That isnt even worth a comeback, Ill just let you dwell on that failure. Heres a tissue, you have a little piece of sh*t on your lips. A Comprehensive List of the Best Comebacks and Funniest Insults. The best comeback? Say whats on your mind without fear of rejection, because what does this secretly communicate very powerfully? The problem with close minded people is that their mouths are always open. Before you tell me what I did wrong, you should first know that I dont care. To say "silence is golden" is to say that their . That doesnt mean you can run over people., Tip 13: Be extra funny arrogant on purpose. I have a bully at school and I used these comebacks, the bully was speechless. Whenever I see you, middle finger gets an erection. Your face is fine but well have to put a bag over that personality. We would disintegrate on the spot if someone said this to us. As if the other meant it positively. [33 tips to realize dreams 100%], How To Become Rich? Haha Its Cullen The Great y'all Its Comeback SZN This my year it's comeback season I don't think that they can see it So before you get to leaving. This principle allowed Donald Trump to become president while by definition also had to get many haters to achieve that. I LOVE this. If your date makes a sexual comment that you like, dont get over your apropos but stay unchanged in your vibe. Feel free to use any other reframing technique to dismantle a test / challenge. Bless whoever curses you. If yes, then this list can give you some material to arm yourself with! Where do pain and fear of rejection come from? Maybe you should stay in your own life and stop interfering with mine. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. The best part about a good witty comeback is that you dont have to be mean or aggressive to get a one-up on a bully. Being normal is boring., Ah wait, of course you mean that {something positive}, If by inappropriate you mean utterly charming, then you are right., When they raise a turnoff, like white socks, I did that on purpose, because I dont want women who are shallow and turn off in white socks., Only when I see a beautiful girl walking., This is probably the strangest thing that happened to me., What was your name again? I decorate women in pubs and light them up so I get their inheritance., Tip 15. I don't remember asking you. Here you will find all self-confidence tips. So dont let it be about yourself but about the group. I hear theres a new app called Sense of Humor. Please download it. Comeback Kid. I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain it to you is another great one to keep in your pocket when someone is being willfully ignorant. What am I still doing here? Take a look at our extensive NLP sources: The above top 10 is just the tip of the iceberg. Now its your turn Yeah, I was practicing it in front of the mirror all morning, but Im still struggling. It was in my business. I ignored you once already. I don't have to keep up witty conversations 24/7. Wait, I have a gift for you. No worries. You are not like that at all. I would like to leave you with one thought, but I'm not sure if you have anywhere to store it in. [Tips & examples], Believe in yourself: poems, quotes, sayings & songs. Dont try to be funny or witty. 1. Where all our blessings. How do you get it if I may ask?, Ive been practicing all night before. In an episode of Mad Men, an adversarial colleague tells Don, I feel bad for you. To which Don cooly replies, I dont think about you at all. Ouch. I am not a native English speaker since I live in Amsterdam. I've always wanted to meet your family. Can you die of constipation? In order to insult me, I must first value your opinion. Youre giving me the silent treatment? This one is total warfareonly use if peace is not an option. Continue with Recommended Cookies. 96 Tips! Zombies eat brains.I guess youll be safe. That must suck. Funny comebacks dont always fit into not-so-funny situations. Thinking of yourself your ego sucks energy. Also, you dont necessarily have to answer the others tests. Im describing you. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Parenting is full of humor, as these stories can attest! Did I invite you to my barbecue? I don't remember my password ***** l think l mess up so l hope you can help me because l need the full service but l don't have money to by a new phone to start over. Another comeback that doesnt miss: Oooh, you wanna kiss me so bad. If someone is angryor obsessedenough with you, the insinuation that they in fact harbor affection towards you is all it takes to tilt a power struggle back in your favor. Im not going to, but Im going to humor you by asking. You might know this quote from Fight Club: Only after youve lost everything, youre able to do anything. It doesnt hurt you because its normal for you. Im so jealous of all the people that havent met you yet. Tomorrow isnt looking good either. All you have to do is click the comment button or click reply and BOOM you get to have your say, whether or not anyone wanted to hear what you had to say or contribute. Im so glad that I paid so little attention to good advice; had I abided by it I might have been saved from some of my most valuable mistakes. You shouldnt act hard-to-get when youre already hard-to-like. 2. When it comes naturally to them, it may be useful to point it out. Ill never forget the first time we met. I didnt realize that you are an expert on my life. But it doesnt feel all that satisfying, especially when the other person got to have his or her say while you didnt. I dont know what it is lately, but people seem to think that what they have to say matters. They say: You are what you eat. How much crap did you eat this morning? Where all our blessings. Youre not pretty enough to be that stupid. Everyone wins. Who were blessed by the Lord. I didnt know that answering a question was considered talking back.. In cases like this, we need some clever comebacks to put them in their place. You smell like drama and headache. For your fun, on the other hand, five points., Tip 11. 3. Of all the mistakes in the world, you are the mistakiest! Dont try to win the other person s approval or impress them by saying something funny or interesting in response. I want you on the other side of it. The only thing wrong with me is that Im talking to you. So rather downplay yourself as a normal person: Please dont. These are not at all ideal to use as they are negatively sarcastic / cynical . I used to think you were a pain in the neck. Your state of mind remains unchanged. 27 Millionaire Tips [Guaranteed To Work], 77 Best Online Marketing Tools [Recommendations] [Also Free], Being Conscientious: Meaning Of This Virtue [Explained], How To Build Trust Within A Team: 10 Powerful Steps, Optimism: Definition, Characteristics, Quotes & Affirmation, Life changing books: 10 books that change your life [2023 Update], Top 10 Best Books: Recommendations Per Genre [2023 Update], Best Books On procrastination: Must Reads [List] [2023 Update], Teachable Review & Experiences 2023 [Bad Online Training Tool? 74. I've already forgotten what you said, but I bet it pointless anyway. And what feeling do you have now? You are in your head because you let everything revolve around you. "Silence is golden" is an old idiom. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. And then immediately move on to another topic. , magnetic, present mixed with the group: you are part of the group. If youre going to wait for me to care, I hope you brought something to eatbecause its probably going to take you a really long time. But Duct Tape Is Silver. Or how can I make it up to you? This list of funny insults and sarcastic comebacks will prepare you for your next battle! The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Maybe this habit and practice bleeds off the internet, to waiting in line to check out at the grocery store, sitting in waiting room at the dentist, or around the dinner table on holidays.var cid='5738294066';var pid='ca-pub-2253677134355600';var slotId='div-gpt-ad-momadviceline_com-medrectangle-3-0';var ffid=1;var alS=1021%1000;var container=document.getElementById(slotId);var ins=document.createElement('ins');ins.id=slotId+'-asloaded';ins.className='adsbygoogle ezasloaded';ins.dataset.adClient=pid;ins.dataset.adChannel=cid;ins.style.display='block';ins.style.minWidth=container.attributes.ezaw.value+'px';ins.style.width='100%';ins.style.height=container.attributes.ezah.value+'px';container.style.maxHeight=container.style.minHeight+'px';container.style.maxWidth=container.style.minWidth+'px';container.appendChild(ins);(adsbygoogle=window.adsbygoogle||[]).push({});window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'stat_source_id',44);window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'adsensetype',1);var lo=new MutationObserver(window.ezaslEvent);lo.observe(document.getElementById(slotId+'-asloaded'),{attributes:true}); Would probably be to smile politely and say very little in return, or something like, Thanks for your thoughts. . Sometimes, I wish I was deaf so your grammar wouldnt bother me so much. Lets be together forever and get married!, Instead, respond subtly, for example with an approving: Youre pretty sure., Tip 16. I missed it. The next time you're hit with an insult, use a good comeback from this list: I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said. Ill try being nicer if you try being smarter. Successful companies also know this principle: in order to win over their dream customers, they have to kick many others on their toes. Thank you for your advice. Some people bring joy wherever they go. This was real and honest. I know you're nobody's fool, but maybe you'll be adopted someday. Now lets take a look at the best tips for making good comebacks when someone is challenging you be it in a friendly, corporate, hostile or dating context. Roommates Girlfriend Moved in without Asking, Roommate Is Always in Living Room (How To Resolve This), Roommate Brings Unwanted Guests Home! You just bring yourself and you are just yourself . Take an insult as a compliment. or withdraw your attention and interest and actually do so if the other person is, I can also stop / leave if you dont want me to make you happy.. Never give others your appreciation from a position of weakness. Your face is just fine, but youll have to put a bag over that personality. A very simple example of this is offering a kiss on a date. So. Oh, you dont like being treated the way you treat me? If you want to see where a person's true morality lies, don't focus on how they treat their equals - focus on how they treat their inferiors. A very simple example of this is offering a kiss on a date. Me too! Your email address will not be published. 3. inflatablefish 1 min. Her sharp humor fits right in with these witty bar jokes anyone can remember. You keep starting from your own positive reality and in fact, you literally project all your positivity, love and warmth onto the challenger. Do you know whats so special? I accidentally cut someone off the other day and instead of flipping me off the guy gave me a big thumbs down out the window, and that hit harder, shares Reddit user C0L0RBLINDz. Just take a look at Howard from the above clip of The Weakest Link. Also deframing is ignoring the other persons statement and making a, Why does it feel like Im talking to my future ex-wife? Just make a mental note: never date this girl. This comeback technique is often used in the debate ring. Luke 6-27. for every situation in which you are provoked and tested by someone? You can expand the previous tip even further by giving it an extra positive interpretation. You have repulsive idiots that nobody wants to deal with and you have delicious idiots that everyone loves. So dont hold on to your little image: Im cool! Just the accusatory teasing is a wonderful form of sweet comebacks. Whenever we hang out, I remember that God really does have a sense of humor. This is often used by intelligent people who are being interviewed by brutal journalists. you dont have it, thats sad(use sarcasm! Are you tripping, dropping something, or doing something else that is clumsy? Id insult you, but then Id have to explain it afterwards, so never mind. omg im not getting bullied anymore by armful , Your email address will not be published. Here comes the kiss I must have the kiss The kiss here it comes . The correct attitude is: I dont need anything from nobody. World model rethinking is a simple and powerful technique. How did that develop? We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. A completely strange man comes up to you and he starts talking to you from scratch, and he listens to you. You are not as bad as people say. Ever since I saw you in your family tree, I've wanted to cut it down. Or are you so insecure that you think it can only be a bet? File this one with these other funny political quotes and insults you cant help but laugh at. Thinking of yourself your ego sucks energy. Well, Rousey's comeback fight went much, much worse. Hey, I found your nose. Anything for you., It doesnt get any better than this. "Brother, you really don't remember who I am, but it doesn't matter. I'm sorry; I didn't realize that my appearance was supposed to meet your standards. We got into a fight with a random girl at the park, and when we were walking away she screamed after us, What are you gonna do, strawberry lemonade?, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), 22 insults from Shakespeare that still sting to this day, funny political quotes and insults you cant help but laugh at, 11 words and phrases that used to be insultsand are now compliments, 16 compliments you dont realize are actually pretty insulting, 40 funny sayings worth committing to memory, 50 cheesy pickup lines guaranteed to get a laugh, hilarious photos that will make you laugh out loud, 21 anti-jokes you cant help but laugh at anyway, groan-worthy jokes you cant help but laugh at, funny jokes to defuse awkward situations at work, movies with the best one-liners youll want to say over and over, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. They will just lower me to their level, then beat me with experience. Next topic., Yup, I dont have an answer for that. How do you feel now? You have a cocktail with me tonight. I get so emotional when youre not around. And is adaptable to just about any jab thrown your way. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Sure, there is a passive-aggressive undertone. Be the idiot of the group without ego. Dont make the outcome of an interaction or provocation important to yourself. Theyre asking for you. that's an aftermath Don't get attached, nobody asked for that Comeback Know where I'm at Comeback But you ain't got it like that Comeback Want me in fact. Never defend yourself, but accept and exaggerate (self-mockery). Is this the result of being unloved all your life? 1. I have very little tolerance for that. Unsolicited advice is a form of criticism, did you know that? Better than anybody here. Luckily, my boss had a sense of humor, shares one Buzzfeed contributor. Be willing to say what you really feel and be willing to joke about what you find funny, without worrying about tricking people or not being liked. Its the circus. So you have to go around their frame. Just drop a comment below, thanks. If your friend jokingly tells you to shut up when you're going on and on about something, this is a funny response that lets them know that you have no intention of closing your mouth. 77 . Take a look at these awesome comebacks for bullies! Dont be afraid of rejection. Hey, by the way, just to be clear: we really meet up as friends, right?, If we dont match that much in that area, why would I still get 13 messages?, Youre right You seem like the type who gives up quickly., How long has your previous boyfriend lasted with you? Ignore bad behavior. Because so did Satan! The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Not everyone has good taste. Because I am arrogant sometimes. "Busted, now if you'll excuse me, I need to buy a pair of nice-looking men's overalls and Dr. Martens.". Anyone who ever said they loved you lied. And do care about the important things in your life. You need a kisson the neckfrom a crocodile. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Your email address will not be published. These are all reframing techniques. If no one else wanted to answer their question then sarcastically reply with "I'll let you get back to your conversation with a silent room then". So stand up for yourself and your opinion, even if it upsets the other person. Ive always been good at comebacks, but these are perfect to use. A little reverse psychology can work wonders. You should introduce your upper lip to your lower lip sometime and shut up! Isnt this a battle of wits? You can also apply this principle in other ways. In fact: just let the other person figure it out for themselves! I would love to insult you, but that would be beyond the level of your intelligence. What you lack in intelligence, you more than make up for in stupidity. Thanks for reading these articles. I dont make decisions based upon opinions from people who dont have to deal with the outcome. I have no pick up sentences. Another important point of this tip is: you dont owe an explanation. This comeback technique is often used in the debate ring. The claimants immediately get fireworks and wedding tunes in their heads and get visions of what the two of you are going to do in the next six months. Im not rude. I dont speak bullsh*t. Ive met several pricks before, but you sir are a cactus. No need to say it again. Let go, express yourself, share your thoughts and feelings uninhibited, and have fun. When you want to make a comeback in flirting contexts, funny arrogance makes a lot of sense. My life may be a joke, but it's not as funny as your face. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? Such actions of yours should really earn others. Stick with that feeling. but I am going to have to have to memorise these word by word. Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity. I'm not insulting you. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Any response you give should be for the purpose. On the left side, there's nothing right. It must be hard putting makeup on your two faces. Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too. You know what an asshole is, right? I dont know what makes you so stupid, but it really works. Where all our . So dont let it be about yourself but about the group. Stop thinking about yourself and become one with your environment and the people around you. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything. I'm glad he never met you, because that song is a classic. I and you both dont have to be here, you can go, is better than trying to prove yourself in response to the other. If someone says something that is not as sweet as a challenge, let us know: Lovingly accusing is recommended as a wonderful flirting move anyway, but it is also a brilliant comeback. Remember when Captain Jack Sparrow, under threat of capture and arrest, takes a moment to deliver a devastating zinger? Do you think Im fat? Thats unimportant, are you comfortable with the way you look?, The what-if technique is brilliant because it gets you out of everything. Two minus points for you. Silence Is Golden. It might even defuse the argument. That sounds like a you problem. This is one of those good comebacks for when your kids are making their lack of planning your emergency. We will do these comebacks with powerful reframing techniques. If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one pretty. Tip 4. I never give advice unless someone asks me for it. Hypnosis is the work of the devil, so you are devils. I am secretly the devil after all. Are you naturally this dumb or do you have to put in effort? and that some examples are only for people who have been dating for some time. Act crazy! To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. You are actually very beautiful and you can be very sure of that., Oh baby, you just about fill the whole room., Theres no other way to say this: Youre just gigantic., : Uhm no, really not. Ill come back when youre more grown up.. Did I accidentally betray myself?. Positive misinterpretation: giving positive meaning reframing. Which way did you come in? A funny comeback will help you win an argument. It interferes with a persons main task in life becoming a better person. (Pretend to pull something of your pocket of bag. I bet even your family dont pretend to like you, do they? You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. chvgs 3 min. I love the sound you make when you shut up. Awesome, glad to be of service, you can thank me later. Im shy. Cookie Notice Everything here depends on the tone and the feeling. I am sorry if I offended you but ignoring the advice I didnt ask for. This is the chief harm of arrogance. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. The easiest way to do this is to say literally. Keep talking. Don't you love nature despite what it did to you? He just is. Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you. Manage Settings This exchange happened accidentally between me and my boyfriend the other day and its been legendary for us ever since: After making an honest mistake he said, Sorry Im an idiot. And I, wanting to reassure him but failing miserably, replied, Dont be sorry for who you are! Its called meddling. Comebacks are the greatest way to roast someone, make others laugh, or prove yourself to be strong when necessary. I wasnt born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel. Ugly, on the other hand, is much more difficult to fix. If I dont talk to you like that long., Didnt you know you shouldnt play hard to get, with men who are hard to get?, Thats unimportant, are you comfortable with the way you look?, Tip 19. Will you take the high road and hear them out? Turn yourself off and become the group! By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. You get into the head of the other person, instead of the other way around. The complete lack of hesitation combined with the specificity of the insult was devastating.. If everyone was like you, the human race would lose faith in the world. So: interpret ms (as if it were a compliment): Sometimes a logical and serious argument is just the weakest thing you can do because it makes you very seriously defend yourself, which is exactly what the challenger wants . Im sorry you got offended that one time you were treated the exact way you treat everyone all the time. Oh, Im sorry. Tip 3. I am cool! To defend it. This is a rare person. Its meaningful, but I also remember that pizza thats in the oven. Soon the other will call you back: I was just kidding. You are much, MUCH worse! Theres no need to repeat yourself. That's strange, I don't remember asking for your opinion. Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. For example, your no remains a no. They are both correct grammatically, the first is a statement, the second is a question. You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway. Am I second best? Harrison ruled when it came to good comebacks in her writing. The subtle art of not giving a f*ck - Summary & Best Tips! Hey, I found your nose. Otherwise, youre just an ass. Maintain and project your positive reality. Louis Armstrong would have never released "What a Wonderful World" had he met you. Do you ever have anything nice to say, or was that the best it gets? Thank you I know what to tell my daughter and son to that bully, I dont use comebacks from the internet I just like to see what the websites say and I would rate this a 8.5 out of 10 . The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Id give you a nasty look, but I see you've already got one. . And that soft, indistinct voice with poor eye contact? We disapprove of narcissism and gaslighting and we want to achieve the opposite, cheerful, charming effect .