So, maybe try to establish a relationship with your baby now, stick it out for a year or so (w/o getting married), then once you've bonded w/the kid and proven you are a devoted dad, split up w/GF and file for custody. I've been with my boyfriend for years and I still don't know if I love him. GET A DNA TEST AS SOON AS THE CHILD IS BORN!!! 'Don't expect rewards in love': woman, 32, who desperately wants a baby says she dated 100 men in a year, renewing marriage pressure debate in China A woman went on more than 100 dates. He shdnt forget the welfare of the child involved. If you don't, pursuing. He's controlling you since you are 100% dependent on him. I was not in love with the guy I got pregnant by. The best alterantive is if you can be amicable and stay friends w/your child's mother and cooperate for the kid's sake, although w/the emotions involved that isn't always possible. No passion. NOW WHY IS IT THAT SO MANY OF US HAD MESSED UP CHILDHOOD? My two oldest remember some fighting and the divorce. advice needed h heatha_heatha Posted 2/4/14 My boyfriend and I have only been together since November. FATHER IS BLESSED WITH A CHILD BUT MISARABLE. know it's right to give her the fact straight but she is just a really nice person, and I feel really **** you know! I am planning to sit tight for now and make sure i am there for her and the child when it comes along. I thought the same! Knowing that you don't want to have the relationship with someone, you will never be able to fake your feelings for temporary happiness. Single. Having a baby with him because of 'guilt' would be barking mad. I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. Oh, I agree 100%. The issue is she is healthcare prof and works in OBS/GYN so there is no way way she would have an abortion, she has just been involved in too many such procedures and its just not for her. We don't have to be together to love our children. Then suddenly she is all happy, and loved up which I find really hard to believe. Many of us are (heavily) pregnant and still working. Sex can lead to pregnancy and I'm assuming you knew the possibility of pregnancy when you made the choice. Does it feels good to fake your feelings? I feel that i have fallen into serious depression and i might seek some professional help. Unless GF is somehow unfit, she'll get custody, meaning she makes the calls and gets support (e.g. They didn't want to break up the family. I agree that love is more a choice than a feeling. (1 to 2 kg . I don't want to burden her with any of this, especially now that she needs to be calm and feel secure. That showed up as a third factor." My girlfriend admitted to me that she cheated. THIS IS THE ENVIROMENT IN THIS SITUATION. Even when you first meet your new child, don't put expectations on how you should feel. And which case, most would be use safe sex and if thy got pregnant, they would try for an abortion. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. My youngest doesn't really remember anything. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. If you're dating a woman who doesn't want to have kids, you should know whether or not you do. I guess I'm just looking for someone on the same boat because I really wish I could have someone to talk to. Life is too short to spend even one month chained to someone you're not in love with. Even though you never had the intention to have a serious relationship with your current partner, you still need to discuss the problem with him. Why is it when a women gets up the duff it's all her fault? Sometimes it feels like you just can't win. I've made my OWN money since I was 15 years old and before I quit my job to MOVE Paid for all my own stuff and bills WITHOUT his help. SAY IT AGAIN! I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. Wear a condom, or allow some woman to own your future (and your money) for a couple decades of your life! Sheffield Utd X Tottenham - Ao Vivo Grtis HD Sem Travar | Futebol Grtis HD. The ex and i still argue sometimes but you have to learn when to shut up. All i will advice him to do is to sit the girl in question down and talk to her in a matured way. A cesarean birth, which accounts for 21% of births today, costs around. As such, you'll need to spend time with both his child's mom and his child. I'm in love with a married man And his wife is pregnant. His family is great also. Be confident. They were always fighting. Everyone is happier. They had to do it because the marriage was arranged or demanded, as their families saw them as a burden and financial responsibility to be passed on to a man who was willing to take her off their hands. NOW YOU WONT BE ALWAYS PHYSICALLY THERE, BUT BECUASE YOU ARE A HAPPY PERSON THAT WILL TRANSLATE THAT. what is de main reason why u do not love her?? For all the guys out there who think a woman is the stepping stone to the next onewear a condom. I know some people may be asking why having sex with someone you dont love. We are deciding if we should divorce now or later when she is bigger. Girlfriend is pregnant don't know if it's mine. I even feel guilty saying this considering how hard other couples are trying to have a child and can't. He pays for the stuff bc he can afford too and didn't want me working while pregnant which was fine when everything was good. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. Sorry to say this, but your gf cannot be trusted. Everybody deserves someone who is able to appreciate, respect, and love themselves. Chosing to be in a rebound relationship to forget the past and aiming for some fun also cause a problem. ALL THIS TRANSLATE TO THE CHILD. Add to Collection. Men don't have a biological clock in the same sense as women. 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. love should beget love and not hate or fear..something society always SCENARIO 1: STAY WITH HER BECUASE SHE IS PREGNANT (THIS IS THE FOUNDATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP). Why is she with you? It is normal to want to lay your head on your mother's breast and feel the security and warmth of her love and compassion. Your best bet might be to stay with your gf for now, bond with your child and forge a relationship with him/her. You've been clear with him from the start. This discussion is archived and locked for posting. The "baby blues" are a form of depression - just not as severe as PPD. Babies can put stress on a couple because it requires both mom and dad to give of themselves. You may want to consider marriage counseling talk to your pastor, priest whatever. I didn't want to end up starting a family in my 50s. Good luck. And you will also need to take a firm decision on what you think is best to be done. Nobody forces you to live with him, if you really don't like him, you can find a job and leave. First step: Don't rush things. I got pregnant with a 34 year old man with another baby and I'm only 19 we've know each other 3 months now but only knew each other a couple weeks when we found out. In the time that I got pregnant I feel that I was in a daze thinking I was in love but recently I feel like I snapped out of it. Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. Call your old boss, call family and friends, research aid and stop telling yourself you're stuck. You wouldn't happen to be burning a bra right about now would you? I've never been the same since he brought out innocent baby into the argument. Sure, most couples are madly "in love" at first, but as time goes on I think most people who have been married 10, 20, 50+ years will say that love is first a choice and then feelings follow and there are some hard times when the feelings are not there and all you are left with is the choice to show love to this person. 37 weeks today. Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. And I still do. 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My friends-with-benefits and I are having a baby (6 months along). The altnerative is to stay with a woman you don't love and that is a lose-lose all around, even for the kid who will be able to sense his parents don't love each other. "We are. My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. You're sort of talking like you want a sugar daddy. Hair. There are reasons you should know and love yourself before you love someone else that will remind you to be true to yourself. If you just dont see it working it is better to do it now. Good one boys real mature!! I make significantly more income then her, so I know she will need the child support, which will at least allow me to be in my child's life, but I don't want my child to be exposed to an unhappy marriage. Made a mistake without any intention to make it surely will freak someone out. BE RESPOSIBLE MAKE SURE TO BE THERE FOR THE CHILD. Well of course he would keep the car. Maybe he doesn't like being used. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. She may have decided against an abortion thinking you will still be with her, but if not, TELL HER it is over and you will not be involved with her anymore (except of course whatever involvement you ahve with the child, support and custody-wise). Ive just seen your reply and am unhappoy in my relationship but dont want to end it for the kids sake! They hurt the most. My boyfriend and I have only been together since November we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. It does make someone feel down and stressed out but, look at the big picture. That's a bummer sadly, the pill can and often does fail, even if its taken 100% properly and on time (and it usually isn't), so you have to be REALLY careful with someone you dont want to reproduce with, as many men have found before you. No going back. Apparently that first year of raising the child is very stressful, specifically on the relationship. U dont love her bcos u havent made ur mind to do so the moment u sit down to think about this gurl as a grown man n de future, am sure u start developin love for her and am sure u liked her thats why u slept with her what makes u slept with her?? Long story as short as possible! Life will not be easier staying with him. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. When I did he the. I'm Michelle Devani and would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to my site. I do have family but financially they can't help me or buy me a car bc he would be petty enough to keep the one he got me, it's under his name, I don't have anywhere to go or any Finances since I quit my job moving in with him. But there's something extraordinary about the energy level of a little boy. SHE DESERVES A SAYING IN THIS! If someone truly needs GA, that's absolutely what it's for. The longer you stay with him the more he's going to think you do have feelings for him and it will only hurt him more in the end. 1. Good luck! You should have your own baby feelings figured out. If you've only been together 3 mos, where did you live before you met? I couldn't be myself with him. I honestly could not ever think of missing out on this child's growing up, especially the early stages. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. we ended u divorcing in 6 years anyway. back out now, "Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. In November 2022, I gave birth to my precious baby girl. So family pressured us to get married. He was a rebound for me. We had been dating for maybe a few months before exclusive. Time passed and we just got comfortable being there. On the most basic level, these changes, prompted by a flood of hormones during pregnancy and in the postpartum period, help attract a new mother to her baby. useless boy!! Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. A. I dont want to jump into marriage as if its a job contract I am signing expecting that one day it will expire. In order to fully understand why I've come to this conclusion on why men stop wanting sex with women they're in a relationship with, it's important to understand every part of the reality dose . Back then I loved her and I felt sorry for her because she took the decision of getting marry to me even though she didn't love me. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. hmmmm my advise to u is to pray to God n ask for forgiveness, i wonder the big talk u used on this gal b4 u got her on bed and now ur running frm ur responsibility. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. I must contain all this and somehow manage it thus minimizing any possible damage. Saturday 4 Mar 2023 10:00 am. Will the feeling of disconnection to this baby ever go away? **** will get tough before it gets better, but it will work out in the end. General Baby Shower Wishes And Congratulations. Suck it up because you didn't do her any favours having to live with you either. I do feel sorry for you and the situation you are in. @Teejay,hahahahaha, that cracked me up, but coming back to the issue, what da hell???? Need help, advice? there will be hatred, resentment, and misery. We keep them up because there are a ton of great conversations here and we believe you deserve to see them all. 9 min read. You do make a lot of sense and i guess this is the only way forward. Open-Ended Questions To Ask A Girl (205 Open Ended Questions To Ask A Girl), How To Make A Girl Blush Over Text (101 Things To Say), How To Compliment A Girl Over Text (141 Ways), Qualities Of A Good Woman (29 Vital Qualities), How Often Should You Text A Girl To Keep Her Interested (25 Helpful Tips), Signs A Married Woman Wants You To Make A Move (23 Signs To Look For), How To Turn On A Woman With Words (155 Tips), 27 Obvious Signs A Woman Wants To Sleep With You, Reasons Why Pisces Man Loves Scorpio Woman (9 Interesting Reasons), If He Doesnt Introduce You To His Friends, What Does It Mean? !So the next time you wake up and look at the zit face woman you married that disgusts you and you hate her because you could have banged all the women you wanted but she got knocked up! If you don't like something about your life, MAKE A CHANGE. Subscribe to Medium for only $5/month & read ALL my sizzling hot stories! Nobody wants to be controlled and it sounds like he deals with anger pretty poorly. AND NO ONE IN THIS SITUATION WILL BE HAPPY IF IT IS. Immerse yourself in nature. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. Take this advice as if your life depends on it. In fact, I was planning on breaking up with him right before I found out I was pregnant. You could split amicably and try to remain friends to do what's best for the child. Just here to say I constantly feel guilty for all of the crying I have done this pregnancy. I have read many times that people say don't make any major changes in the baby's first year of life. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. I do love her a lot as a person but i am not in love with her. He's controlling. There are midnight feedings, changing diapers, rocking a screaming infant and little sleep. You need to get in contact with services and leave. Aim to have a better and best partner that you can have. This difficult parent-child dynamic is most typical of families where one or both parents are narcissistic, but it's not exclusive to narcissists only. Forgotting that there's gonna be 3 children in his life forever? Can't and haven't said a word to anyone about how i feel. Is anyone in the same situation. Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. You will need to know on how to get a Taurus man make a decision due to your current situation. ( though I dont see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. I don't know what to do. a deed frowned upon by society and seen as a problem The deed has already been done instead of advising and coming up with ways to make sure the child is brought up in a obviously deserving loving environment that the child needs instead of an environment filled with resentment, hate, misery, spitefulness etc etc, you all are pushing.insulting and forcing the guy to guy marry the girl in question.. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. If you're still contemplating having a family, you're still young enough to have that luxury. Don't stay just for the kids. Chandra is a mom of three boys (8, 4, and 3) and the founder of Oh Lovely Day, a lifestyle blog with a honest look at motherhood.She is trying to create more of an open dialogue with a no . This is it, i went and made my life more complicated than it already was by adding a new factor, a child, to the equation. In the workplace, women with youthful faces are often more successfuland make solid leaders.On the other hand, though, some baby-faced women get passed overfor challenging tasks and leadership roles. Sex is the leading cause of babies. You are right it is not fair to her. Is she shaka Zulu or she is not attracted to u?? It has been the hardest most brutal experience of my life. I have a good job with good income and will pay half of the costs, I didn't want to lose her but I did. Do you think that she would let you be a father if you two were to split? I have many regrets from the past and can't bear to add another one to the long list. no one is going to be happy in that relationship. And both of you surely need to stay in touch. May you both be happy and healthy. I know this is not the time to criticise as the harm has already been caused, but i will still ask: If you claim you dnt love someone, how on earth did u get involved with her, let alone put her in the family way? There are more than likely services in your area to help you get on your feet (welfare,food stamps,shelter). I don't need judge mental opinions just ideas and support. form is an illusion. Just not with her. When I had my first baby as a young single mom, I didn't have a car and I figured it out with the help of my family. We are two total opposite people. I got pregnant in September of 2011. He's not all bad. We are trying our best but we don't know how long it will last. ( though I don't see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. If you want to be a dad, the fear that you'll only see your kid every other weekend and maybe once a week is legit. It stressed us kids out like you wouldn't believe, all the kids are dysfunctional, serious trust issues. At least you know your decision to not hook up with a guy was definitely the right one if he insults you for it. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. To cut a long story short I'm in a very My Pregnant Girlfriend is Pushing Me Away. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. You're an adult. She is 6 months pregnant now. For more information, please see our He has been nothing but supportive, but I do not love him. He made a baby with you but doesn't seem to support you financially and you don't live together. It is helped by a rush of love when the baby arrives, but that doesn't have to be present to create a positive, warm, loving connection which is what love is." For me, even weeks later, those warm . I was done. When a woman loves you, she's kind to you. I am a single mom and have been for a few years- however, my first child was planned with my fiance' and we were madly in love and it was the greatest, happiest time of my life. U r runnin away from marriage cos u didn love her b4 ?? By Simon Maybin. gals are expect dnt 4get. or you will be 35 and wondering where your life went and if you'll ever be happy. "People would say, 'I don't want to have a baby because I don't have money or I don't have time or I don't have a partner,'" he says. No need to waste time your life and time on him. So remember to try to be the best of you. (11 Possible Meanings), how do I deal with a break up while I am still pregnant his baby, reasons you should know and love yourself before you love someone else, How to Sweep A Cancer Man Off His Feet - Zodiac Signs, 32 Best Reasons to Date a Nurse (The No.1 Caretaker), Things You Need to Know About Dating Portuguese Man (The Sexiest Boyfriend), 35 Crazy and Undeniable Signs That She Friendzoned You, 25 Reasons Why You Should Date The Outgoing Introvert, Reasons to Choose the Girl with the Complicated Pastand How to Love Her Right. You need a job and a plan so that you don't get stuck with him forever. Its best to rip the band-aid off now instead of living a miserable life indefinitely. CLICK HERE to subscribe to our daily up-to-date news!! And the best way to do it is to proof to anyone that this version of you is so much better than you were. Sometimes people make choices to abort, adopt, or keep the child. To imagine her saying, "I'm here for you baby." We all need more than the . A year has passed, we have a beautiful little girl that I love with all my heart, but our marriage life is a disaster. bcus a womens cry n tongue is very sharp. Archived discussions are usually a bit older and not as active as other community content. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information. Congratulations, a new bundle of joy is coming to fill your home with love and bliss. "Most women will find intercourse painful up until the three-month mark," notes Ross. If something that can work out for you to try loving her, that would be most ideal. It's stressful I have strong feelings for him and he says he does to but it's not just are little fantasy anymore things got so rushed and our maturity levels are so different. If you don't like him, you don't have to live with him or use him. He wasn't meant for marriage, he was a party guy, a free bird, and only got married because he was afraid I'd sue him for child support later. 2. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. He nearly killed you. Op: I don't understand why you quit your job, but find a new one and go stay with family. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. Birth control, as the objection went, could actually serve to raise the abortion rate by encouraging people not ready to have children to have sex at the risk, however small, of becoming. But I want to be a father. She's told me I'll get to see the kid and stuff but she doesn't want me in her life anymore because I make her too unhappy. The way you speak to yourself has a lot to do with the way you view your situation. A baby doesn't get to choose who his parents are so I think if you feel you won't be able to love your baby, it would be best for the both of y'all to be open to adoption. The baby grew in her, she birthed it, she fed it, and she nurtured it every step of the way. Having a baby can create a bond that encourages mature personal growth and strengthens a couple's commitment to each other -- but that doesn't happen overnight, and more often, it doesn't. Fertility is amazing, making a baby with your own body is an unreal magical power, feeding that baby with your body is some kind of sci-fi-fantasy level of madness. Women are doing everything they can to get contraception. All rights reserved. Sucked it up and did what I had to do for my kids. Get a job and find a place to live. Also, if it's bad now it will only get worse once the baby is here.
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